The gang trooped along after Ori, the green rabbit, looking with interest and a little fear at the jungle as they walked. Things that looked like vines but had eyes that opened and stared at their passing startled them, except for Billy Bob and Abner. Billy Bob just winked, while Abner took notes. The heat was oppressive and humid after the desert. Perky's pant leg got caught on a thorn and she screamed a scream that cut off, because what was attached to the thorn was even worse. It was a small creature with black fur and big buckteeth.
"How av oo?", it seemed to ask.
Ori looked back. "Oh, that's just Simple Stanley. He's harmless. He mostly drools a lot. It's kind of disgusting, but we're used to it. He asked how you are."
Perky looked a little shy. "I'm good, thanks."
"Don't bother talking to him. He just says things, he doesn't actually understand us," said Ori. "Haha! Good thing, too."
Simple Stanley had a sad look on his face as the group walked away.
Now that they knew that not everything in the jungle was going to kill them, they enjoyed the journey more.
"Hey, rabbit!" called Shok. "Why didn't you make some sort of path through this mess? It's kind of a hassle, with all the vines and thorns and stuff."
Ori answered without turning around. "We did try, long ago. You make a path, and the next day, the jungle reclaims it. It's not worth it. Besides, there are paths, if you know what to look for."
Shok looked doubtful.
All during their walk, strange calls echoed in the jungle canopy. There were the usual bird calls, monkey howls, and insect hum, but there were also what sounded like people saying "ah hoo hoo whatcha say!" and "batter up batter up, six bucks a cup!", then it sounded like all these hidden figures got into a wild slap fight.
"What's that?" asked Perky.
Ori chuckled. "Oh, just some lost salesmen and lawyers. Their planes crashed here decades ago, and they haunt this jungle with their nonsense. They're feral and a little kookoo. I rarely see them, but they're kind of faded, as if their purpose is being lost. One day, when nobody cares or notices, they'll disappear."
"How sad!' said Perky.
"Don't be sad! They'll sell you junk or life insurance policies if you let 'em! Leave them be."
After walking another few minutes, they came to a tall, narrow stone, and around the corner was a comfortable-looking house, set low to the ground in a clearing.
Ori turned around. "Well, here we are! Casa Conejo. Welcome to my humble abode. Don't mind the kids, I lost count how many there are. We are, after all, rabbits, ya know." He winked. Perky and Shok blushed. Billy Bob chuckled. Abner took notes.
Some of the aforementioned kids came running out of the house and jumped on their father. He continued walking, but more slowly. "Oof!"
His wife came out, too. She was pleasant-looking apart from the crossed eyes.
"This is Morka. She puts up with me." Morka smiled.
Shok looked at the clearing. "Hey, how come the jungle doesn't reclaim this clearing?"
"It's the only place on this mesa where jungle doesn't grow. We weren't sure why at first, but then we discovered the big secret," replied Ori. He paused and waited for someone to ask what the big secret was. After an uncomfortably long pause, he sighed and continued. "The jungle has a bald spot!" He grinned widely and did a little shuffle.
One of his kids, an older girl, sighed and said,"Dad, nobody thinks that's funny, ever!"
Ori gave her the stinkeye. "Well, it does...but there's a reason! The reason is deep underground, though. Come in, we'll eat and drink and I'll tell you more."
The house was low but spacious. Room after room spread out from the front door. In a level below, there were even more rooms dug into the ground, as rabbits do like a good warren. The walls were mostly bare except for a few old pictures. The construction of the house was solid if basic. Beams supported the roof, and it gave the effect of looking like a really big cabin in the woods, which was what it was. Everything was painted white, which had gotten a little yellow over the years with age and with smoke from cooking. Ori led the way to the big living room at the back, the passage choked with kids and their toys.
"Clean this up or I'll give them away to the Eargators!" he growled at no-one in particular.
"What the hell's an Eargator?" asked Shok.
A small kid piped up. "An Eargator is a vicious animal that puts its finger in your ear and lays little eggs, which hatch in your skull and eat their way out of your head!" The kid, a little boy, laughed hysterically.
"What's so funny?" said Shok, looking a little green himself.
The boy looked solemn. "Well, you'd have to be pretty dumb to get caught by an Eargator. They're really big and slow, and you can hear them coming from miles away."
They reached the living room, where food and drink was already waiting. It was mostly carrots and celery, but there were also some odd-looking fruit and even some gum. The drink was unfamiliar.
"Drink up! It's our own special brew---honey spider cider," said Ori. Everyone looked a little nauseous, except for Billy Bob, who licked his lips. "Don't worry, it's better-tasting than its name! Haha, it would have to be."
They all sat around the large round table, sitting in very comfy chairs. Ori looked at Abner.
"Hey, Abner! Stop taking notes!"
Abner looked up, a little startled. "I'm sorry, do I know you?"
Ori looked exasperated. "Of course you do. We met years ago, at that party those bug people gave. Well, I had different-coloured fur back then, more of a blue. And I wasn't calling myself Ori. I was Pambilo Gambaladoolah. And it was a long way from here. Plus I didn't have the wife and kids. A lot has changed since then. For instance, you got a new hat!"
Abner closed his eyes. "Ah yes, now it's coming back." His eyes opened. He frowned. "I seem to remember you stole something of mine, a very useful device."
Ori took a sip of his drink. "Ah, but that was years ago. Surely you've gotten a newer and much better very useful device!"
"You're missing the point," said Abner.
"Drink up! Let the night be merry. After all, there are more dangerous and serious things stalking the land these days." He looked around at the gathered group. "I should tell you about this place's big secret. It may help you."
He took another sip and a bite of a blue carrot.
"Of course, I discovered this secret years before the light in the east. I was digging around in the basement, seeing if I could make a sub-basement. I broke through the rock and found a big hole. An odd green light poured out, not harsh but soft. I could see that there a sort of natural staircase in the rock, so I decided to go investigate. Morka didn't like that." He grinned at her. She smiled back but with her crossed eyes, nobody could tell if she was mad or not.
Ori continued. "I didn't have to go down very far before I discovered where the green light was coming from. In the middle of a cavern was a pedestal, and on that pedestal---I kid you not---was a big green baby. I mean a baby that was human, like the three of you." He pointed at Perky, Shok, and Billy Bob.
"The baby just sat there, with a permanently surprised look on its face. It didn't move at all, but it didn't seem dead, just in suspended animation. The green light emanated from its entire body, but the eyes were a deeper green. Kinda hypnotic. I stared at it for a while, then shook myself out of it, and walked around the pedestal. There was nothing else there, just the green baby on the pedestal. After staring for a few minutes, I noticed that a carrot I was carrying had wilted and died. I was starting to feel a little queasy myself, so I got out of there and went back up to the house. When I got back up, I put a rock over the hole and sat down, panting and sweating. Morka came in and screamed. I looked down at myself and saw that my blue fur had turned green. And that's the honest truth!"
Morka stuck her tongue out. "Oh, piffle. I didn't scream!"
"So that's why no plants grow in the area above the cavern. That weird green light kills it," said Ori.
Abner stared. "A big green baby bleeding green light causes vegetation to wither and die? That seems incredibly unlikely."
"And you're a talking bird!" snorted Shok.
Abner looked offended. "I am most certainly not a bird, young man! Birds are silly creatures that fly around, tweet, and shit all over everything. Imagine comparing me to them. Harumph!"
"Well, you look like a bird," muttered Shok.
"And you look like a big talking thumb."
Morka began tsking. "Boys, boys! Have some more cake!"
"Oh, so that's what that was!" said Billy Bob. "I thought it was gum."
"Gum! Really!" snorted Morka.
After they had all calmed down, they ate and drank and talked until late. Then, tired from their day, they all went to bed, each one having their own room.
Perky had a hard time getting to sleep, which was unusual. She was basically a positive person, without many troubles to keep her awake at night. She tossed and turned, throwing the blankets off her. So many things had happened to her lately, things she had never experienced before, upsetting things, that now in the dark of night, she was wondering if she'd be all right. She had never had a thought like that before. Of course she was going to be all right....right? Eventually, exhaustion overcame her and she fell asleep, but her dreams were troubled, full of nasty evil creatures, biting at her and drawing blood. She flailed and somehow her fingernails had grown into talons, and she slashed at the darkness, causing white light to burst out in rays. The dark spaces screamed out and cursed her. The floor became slippery with blood and she slipped but then floated before she fell. She soared up high, to the top of the room she was in, and sailed through a small hole. She was on top of a big mountain and the sun's rays were strong and yellow and warmed her. Below her in the hole, dark voices screamed and cried and faded.
She woke up with a start. It was still night and she heard people talking loudly. She got out of bed and went to the door. It opened before she could touch it. Shok was there.
"Hey, wake up! Stuff's happening."
Perky followed Shok to the living room. Everyone was there, all talking at once, it seemed. "What's going on?" she asked.
Billy Bob looked serious. "We're under attack. Certain evil things know we are here and we don't have much time. I think they're after you."
"Me? Why me?" she gasped.
"It all probably has to do with that light in the east, and your quest to see the old man in the cave. It seems like it's not just a little fun journey, but something more serious. It's important for you to succeed. Apparently some parties have an interest in seeing you fail," said Abner. "We have to figure out how to get you out of here. The place is surrounded. There's that little black and red thing that followed us. I thought it was harmless, but it seems like it was a spy. It's brought bigger and nastier friends. Friends with big teeth."
Perky paled. "I think I dreamed about them last night. I fought them off and escaped."
"Well, I hope that's a sign that things will go well for you," replied Abner. He looked at Billy Bob and Ori. "Gentlemen, I believe we have a few things to talk about."
"Hey, what about me?" said Shok.
Billy Bob shook his head. "No, son, we three have had some experience in things like this. You can escort Perky to safety. I think the basement is best."
Shok grumbled about being a babysitter in a dumb hole.
"It's very important she be kept safe!" growled Billy Bob.
Abner, Ori and Billy Bob left the room, followed by Morka. When Abner and Billy Bob raised their eyebrows, Ori said,"Oh haha, I forgot to tell you she was a champion knife thrower before we met. She even defeated Clogong the Impervious. She found a sensitive area, haha!"
"My village was kind of a terrible place to grow up in," said Morka. "It was either throw knives, or become a beautician."
After a very short amount of time (they actually had just gone out of the room to get some fancy clothes to wear), the four came back and told of the plan.
"OK," said Billy Bob. "I guess we just go out and try to keep 'em off. We have some knives and other weapons. I know a few tricks and so does Abner. Morka and Ori do what they do---"
"I go berserk!" grinned Ori.
"---and Shok, you take Perky down to the basement and through that hole to the green baby cave."
"I thought that was a dangerous place?" asked Perky.
"Abner's been lookin' through his notes, and he thinks there's more to that place than meets the eye."
Shok led the way while Perky followed. "Come on, slowpoke!"
All of the many kids had made themselves disappear into the many rooms of the house, some to areas even their parents didn't know about.
The fighting foursome made their way to the front door. They looked out at the growing crowd.
"Doesn't look good," said Ori.
"It'll never get better than this," said Billy Bob.
With a collective intake of breath, they opened the door and rushed out. Abner removed his hat and flung it, frisbee-style. Little mechanical arms opened up and several saws poked out. It swept through the nearest group of creatures and sliced through them like they were melted butter. Blood gushed out in a fan, soaking things behind them and choking the ones who had been laughing in triumphant expectation. They gurgled and choked to death, falling to the ground. The ones behind them trampled them in their mad rush to attack.
Billy Bob had a crooked stick he had picked up off the ground. He leapt up and brought the stick down at a sideways angle, impaling several of the evil things. They stuck together and squealed like a living barbecue offering.
Ori spun around and started screaming, a green tornado that crashed into a group of the enemy, his fists and feet spinning around rapidly, punching and breaking bones. Severed limbs fell off, blood coating their compatriots, as the afflicted screamed in agony and fell over as lumbered trees do.
Morka had a different apron, this one with many pockets for her various knives. Quick as a wink, one after another she flung them with deadly accuracy at the approaching throng. Knives were buried in skulls, chests, through eye sockets and arms and legs. One creature who had turned to run away ended up with a nasty serrated blade embedded in its ass. As it fell, its face smashed on a stone and burst into gore.
The attackers were undaunted by the deadly opposition and came at them. Billy Bob, Abner, Morka and Ori defended the house as best they could, but they were vastly outnumbered.
"These things must have come here from somewhere else," grunted Ori. "I've been through this jungle many many times and never seen the likes of them."
"Dark forces are against us," said Billy Bob, who by now had one of Morka's long knives in one hand and a burning torch in the other. He swatted at a small pink reptile. "We may not survive."
"Oh, I don't know about that," said Abner, whose hat had come back to him, boomerang style. He dug around in his clothing. "Hold on and cover your ears!"
He produced a small silver box. He pressed a button on the top, and it opened up, a serious metal flower. He tossed it at the creatures and ducked. It hung in the air for an impossible few seconds, then with a dull thump, exploded in a ball of red fire. When the smoke cleared, most of the attackers lay dead on the ground, while the survivors crawled or stumbled back into the jungle. The small creature with the black and red stripes was high in a tree, grinning at them. After staring at them, it vanished into the jungle.
"I know what that is!" exclaimed Abner. "Terrible, terrible thing. I must get back home. It is in grave danger. Farewell!" With that, he ran into the darkness.
Ori and Morka and Billy Bob were a little marked up but otherwise uninjured. The evil creatures counted on surprise and numbers to overwhelm foes, not skill in fighting.
"I'd better go check on Perky and Shok," said Billy Bob suddenly.
He ran into the house, while Ori and Morka followed more slowly. When Billy Bob got to the basement, he could see the green light coming from the hole. He called down. "Are you two all right?"
Perky's small voice came up."Yes, but it feels very strange down here. Also, Shok keeps farting."
"That's not me! I keep telling you, it's the big green baby!" protested Shok.
Billy Bob climbed down and met them. His nose wrinkled. "Yeah, that smells like something not produced by a person."
After he told them about the battle and Abner leaving, he looked at the big green baby. He picked up a rock and tossed it at it. It disappeared. "I thought so."
"What?" said Perky.
"It's another one a them portals. Planet seems to be riddled with 'em."
"So what do we do?" said Perky.
"Well, we gotta go through."
Shok did not look pleased. "Hey, listen, I think I'm gonna go back with Abner and see if I can help him there. It's near my home. This place just gives me the creeps."
"Be careful. Things aren't going to be any safer there than here," said Billy Bob. He patted Shok on the shoulder.
Shok climbed back up the hole and ran out of the house, where he caught up to Abner and helped him repair the ship.
"But why do we have to go through this weird green light, Billy Bob?" asked Perky, who didn't look very perky at all.
"There's too many bad things behind us, and I think our journey must continue this way. Move forward, not backward."
Perky didn't look convinced, but she took Billy Bob's hand and after taking a deep breath, they both leaped through the big green baby.
...to be continued!
