The screaming stopped suddenly as Perky and Billy Bob landed on all the people. Well, almost landed. Another burst of energy from the tower zapped them and they sort of bounced sideways, landing on a heap of dirty clothes. The heap made a loud sound.
"Ow!"
"I didn't know dirty clothing could talk," said Perky. "Neat!"
"Ah, maybe if it's some sort a magic clothing, like the kind I used ta wear back when I was a kid," replied Billy Bob.
Perky looked at him, then at all the people surrounding them, who had at first run away when the carpet was coming in for a crash landing, then had wandered back to see what was going on. Some didn't come back, they continued to gather round the shiny tower and stare up at it, expecting something to happen but not knowing what exactly, or when, or if it was fattening.
"B-Billy B-Bob, who are these people?" she shivered.
Just as Billy Bob was going to give her a wise answer, probably, the heap of dirty clothes said "ow!" again and began to move. It moved only a little at first, then more violently. Billy Bob and Perky shook and shimmied, then fell off the carpet onto the soiled ground. Yes, ground is by definition made of soil, but this ground was somehow dirtier than regular dirt. It was the dirty dirt made by generations of people who were gathered around some fantastic object they couldn't manage to break away from, and they cared not a whit for unnecessary activities like hygiene. They ate, did their business, slept, and stared up at the shiny silver tower that sometimes spat forth bursts of wild energy. And they did all of this on one piece of ground. Year after year, standing on layers of their ancestors. Just to make it clear, the stench was incredible. Perky and Billy Bob had been so startled by their almost crash and almost violent death that they hadn't quite registered it at first, but now they did, and they did not like it.
"Pee-yoo!" cried Perky. She gathered part of her clothing and pulled it over her face.
From under the heap of dirty clothes crawled something that might possibly have been a person, but was now so dirty and rumpled it looked like something a cat puked up and which had somehow learned to talk.
It stared at our duo and started jumping up and down in a fury.
"Youuuu homewreckers! You nasty flaccid waxy plastic bags of I-don't-know-what! You come down here like rancid angels with personality defects and wreck my home, my bee-yoo-ti-ful home! I'll make you pay! I'll get youuuu for this!" It had a gravelly voice and spittle flew out of its mouth in almost beautiful arcs of glittering lace made of saliva. It ran over to Billy Bob and started punching him.
"Jesus fuck!" yelled Billy Bob. "Quit hammering on my knee, you little bastard!"
The angry ball of fury was also very short. I mean, like, seriously diminutive. Not in a microscopic way, no, that would be ridiculous, but just short enough to be comical, like a good rest for your drink.
Meanwhile, all the creepy people surrounding them began to laugh, but since they probably hadn't laughed in about 307 years, it came out more like a creaky door, or a bent, rusty kettle on half steam.
"What are youuuu looking at? Once I get my reeevenge on these sky jerks, I'm-a gonna git alla you! You nerds, you clumps, you clots, you roont my beautiful tower!" spittled the angry ball.
The crowd just hummed slowly.
"Who," began Billy Bob, "in the seven hells of tarnation are you?"
The little guy just stared, his mouth open. "Who am I? Who am I? Whoooo are youuuu?"
Perky jumped up from the ground. "I'm Perky Buttercup! I have come from a long way away, I have seen a lot of creepy and mean people, and I miss my home and my friends and can't wait to get back to them."
Billy Bob said, "And I am Billy Bob Swamp Abompbompbomp. I met her a little while back, and I aim to help her get back home."
The angry ball stared some more, then said in a quiet, reasonable voice, "Oh right then. I'm called Cyril Sidgery. Once upon a time I lived in a place called Saham Toney. It's near Great Hockham."
Perky and Billy Bob looked blank.
"You know, in England?"
Still blank.
"You've never heard of England?" Head shakes. "Then where in blazes am I?"
"Well, near as I can figure, in the middle of nowhere, at the foot of a mysterious metal tower that shoots out fingers of energy. And the people of this town are so hypnotized by it, they stand around staring at it until they drop dead," said Billy Bob.
"Did you see a weird light in the east?" asked Perky.
"Now that you mention it, yes, I did. I was working on a new kind of energy transmitter, and it started to act up just after there was a weird light in the east. The ground began to shake, even though there's never any earthquakes in England, and my tower emitted a huge burst of light. I was knocked out, and I woke up here. I have no idea how long I was out." Cyril looked a little disturbed.
"Well, these people, and all the dead bodies, look like they've been here a long time, but then again, since that weird light in the east, things have been mighty strange hereabouts." Billy Bob stroked his chin. "I wonder if your tower and the light are connected? I wonder if time has been distorted so that what might be three hundred years here are only three hundred minutes back in Ankleland."
"England. Not 'Ankleland'".
"Well, I've never been there, so I'll have to take your word for it."
Just then Perky noticed that more and more people were turning away from the tower and towards our little group. The people were very skinny and pale, and looked like they only ate when absolutely necessary, and that that time was now. Their hollow eyes sunk further into their faces, their lips pulled back to reveal yellow, cracked teeth that in some cases had turned into sharp, black splinters, and their skeletal fingers extended out, tipped with dangerous looking fingernails. They shuffled closer.
"Good lord!" exclaimed Cyril. "Quick, follow me!"
He ran around the side of the tower, Billy Bob and Perky close behind. Cyril pulled out a small box from his dirty folds, and pointed it at the smooth metal wall. A door which had been totally invisible was now visible, sliding into the structure. They all tumbled in and fell to the floor. Cyril pointed the box at the doorway and it shut quickly. The faint thud of angry, hungry bodies hitting the metal wall outside made them all shiver. It was very dark inside. Cyril clapped his hands and they were flooded with light.
"This," he said, getting up and waving his arm, "is my laboratory. You see, despite what I may look like, I am in actual fact, an inventor!" He beamed triumphantly.
The other two had no idea what any of the stuff was in the room, so they just stared blankly. Cyril noticed their lack of enthusiasm, so he began speaking rapidly.
"Er, uh, well, you see, it mostly has to do with the efficient transmission of an endless, cheap supply of energy. There's some stuff over there that has to do with making square bread, but ignore that. My main goal in life is to make energy enough for everybody!"
"For what reason?" asked Billy Bob.
"Well, so they can use their devices and machines and never run out of energy! No more dirty oil or coal, or dangerous nuclear energy!"
"What sort of devices would that be?" Billy Bob asked evenly.
"You know, lights and washing machines and phones and cars and tellies and big neon billboards and all that sort of thing."
"I don't think we have any of that here."
"You don't----then how do things work?"
Perky spoke up. "They just do! Like these---" she pulled a long string that glowed from a pocket and waved it around so that it created traces in the air. "Isn't it fun?"
"Remarkable," muttered Cyril. "So you have things that you've made and they just...work?"
"Sure nuff," said Billy Bob. "Seems like a lot a hassle, tryin' to invent things and expendin' all that energy to create more energy. We just make things and they go. Mostly people here are pretty simple. Yeah, you got some evil overlords ever so often here'n'there who want big fancy things, like havin' their names in lights a hundred feet high in the sky, but after a few years they see how people don't care much for it, and they tend to pack up in the night and go away somewhere else." He thought for a moment. "You know, maybe it's the same one or two who just keep movin' around. Huh."
"Well, where I'm from, people want a lot of fancy, shiny things that whir and beep and make lights and talk to you," said Cyril.
"Whoa!" piped up Perky. "That sounds like a bowl of fun! Can you make these things say funny things? Can they be your new best friend?" She jumped up and down.
"Well, I suppose so, with some of the new..." Cyril trailed off as a loud moaning sound echoed through the room.
As one, all three looked behind them. That's never good, you know. Loud moaning sounds coming from behind you when you never even knew there was anyone---or anything---there. In fact, none of them should have looked behind them at all. It would have saved them quite a lot of horror, although on the other hand, it would have shortened their lives by quite a wide margin. But look they did. And this is what they saw.
Imagine a human being that has been dead for a while, but then the death part was dialed back a bit so that it looked sort of alive, but still sort of ill. Various parts didn't quite change back the same, so it looked wonky. Now imagine that while all of this horror was happening, that a cat leaped on the person and was included in the process. So now you had two badly constructed, half-dead things all mushed together. And of course it couldn't walk properly, but it could shuffle fairly fast. I suppose all the moaning could have been the thing trying to say,"Hey! Don't be afraid! It's just me!" But of course your animal mind was just freaking out and looking for a tree to climb, but not finding any, you just ran around in circles. Perky ran around in circles, and Billy Bob tried climbing the walls but only found shelves that he pulled down.
Cyril had a different reaction. After a brief but unmistakable jolt of surprise, he looked calmly at the shuffling horror and said three words.
"Oh, hello dear."
...to be continued.
