The sucking watery sounds seemed to go on forever, but it was really only about five minutes, five minutes in which Perky Buttercup screamed silently in wet darkness. Around her were various other objects along for the ride, too, some of them soft and wriggly, some harder and festooned with fangs. After Perky spent some time deciding if this was enjoyable or not, a small light expanded rapidly and with a loud POP she was ejected from the tube into a wide marshy area.
"Oof!" she spluttered. She looked around. In the time she had been in the mall, darkness had fallen, or maybe it was just dark here. It was hard to tell. The little ball creatures with the O mouths and the sad eyes were sort of piled up in a big wet mass that resembled sad poo. A few of them struggled and keened, their piteous plaints lost in the misty wilderness setting. One of the shark creatures was buried under this pile, a toothy grin the only thing you could see. It struggled to wave its knife around, but gave up and laughed.
Perky shivered. It was cold here, something she didn't like and wasn't used to. Wasn't used to...she had a vague memory of a warmer place. Hell? No, that wouldn't be fun at all. Sure, Hell was probably party central, but burning alive and being prodded with pitchforks by demons sounded like a drag. She tried to stay positive. Hell wasn't misty and filled with reeds, was it? She looked around, but as the day was fading, it was hard to see much. She thought she could make out some hills not too far away, but maybe they were clouds. Her lip quivered. Hills, clouds, dead things, mist....it was all too much. She felt strange. Events of the past week were swirling around her mind, full of nasty, dirty people doing nasty, dirty things. People who were mean and wore such dull clothing. She thought maybe their nice bright clothes were at the laundry, but she knew that that couldn't be true for everyone. She tried to get up, walked a few steps in the muck, but fell on her face. Splat.
As she tried to pick herself up, she suddenly flew into the air like magic.
"Magic is real! Magic is here! I can fly!" she exclaimed.
A voice as reedy as the marsh seemed to come out of nowhere, but was really attached to the man whose hand had picked Perky out of the mire.
"Not magic, just me, little one." He plucked her out of the marsh and plopped her onto relatively dry ground.
She looked up at him. He was tall, tall and thin and he waved, much like the reeds. "Who are you and where did you come from?"
"Me? My name's Billy Bob Swamp Abompbompbomp, and I come from here. Well, not this marsh, but nearby. I got myself a little cabin. Ain't much, but I can't complain. Some people live in the mud. I got a bed and a chair, too, and a little shelf for my book. In the corner's a little stove. Keeps me warm, mostly anyways. Cabin ain't that big, so I can't stand up too regular, kinda hunched over. I mostly go outdoors so I can stretch. If it's too rainy or too late, I go inside and read for a spell, then I fall asleep. Are you hungry?" He looked at Perky, who was wobbling a bit.
She looked up at him. "You're so different. Are you going to kill me?"
Billy Bob looked at her and barked a laugh. "Haha, no, I don't think so, little one." He stroked his chin, which had some sparse growth of hair. "Say, you came out a that drainpipe, didn't you? I hear it runs all the way from that old mall over the hill. I never been, mostly because it hasn't been up and running since I was a kid, but also because I don't got no money. Besides, I ain't exactly the height of fashion." He chuckled, and looked down at his clothes, which were made from sewing together bits of other clothes. Then he looked back at Perky, who looked green. He picked her up and brought her to his cabin, which was only a minute's walk away.
He wrapped an old blanket around her shoulders, and gave her a cup of what might have been hot chocolate. "So, what's yer name?"
Perky took a sip of the liquid and her face froze. Well, it was warm anyway. "My name's Perky Buttercup, and I don't understand anything! I don't think I'm home anymore. Things look different. Instead of friendly faces, I see mean faces with frowns and lines and dirt. Instead of people being glad to see me, I see people who want to hurt me. I thought maybe I wandered into a neighbourhood I hadn't seen before, but I've travelled a long way and it all looks the same. It looks....awful. I don't like feeling bad. I like feeling good! And now I'm scared. The last time I was scared I was three years old and a balloon popped. People danced and sang, but I was still scared of that balloon. And now here I am, wherever here is." She huddled closer to herself.
Billy Bob looked thoughtful. "Hm, last week, there were some lights in the sky. I didn't pay no mind. I thought they were just some things that overhill people did. But now I ruminate on it, some mighty odd things have been happening since then. Some folk I never seen before came traipsin' through a couple days ago, all dressed up like Tijuana peacocks. I thought they mighta been overhill people, but these people were...clean. They asked if I had any candy, but I ain't had none a that since I was a little kid. They went their way, singing and laughing. Now I think on it, you remind me a bit of them." He got up and went to his small bookshelf and picked up the lone book, a tattered specimen.
He flipped through the pages. "This here book by a fella named Richard Phillips has some mighty interesting stories about all sorts of peculiar things. Time travel, and parallel dimensions, among others. I wonder if what's been going on has anything to do with that. I wonder..."
Perky took another sip and looked up at him from the chair. "Could you help me get back home?"
Billy Bob stroked his chain again and gazed at the ceiling, which was millimetres above his eyes. He looked a little startled, so he sat on his bed. "Well, now Perky, I ain't a learned man. Sure, I been reading this here book a lot, seeing as how it's the only book I had left ever since all my other eight books got eaten by a pack of rabid lady porcupines about ten years ago, but it don't mean I know all the secrets of the universe. Hell, I ain't even been more than five miles from this here cabin in quite a while. I hear tales of the overhill folk, and occasionally people wander by and we get to talkin', so I hear tales of far-off places, but I'm never too sure if they're real or not."
Perky's eyes shined and got a little moist.
"Hey! Don't fret! I just said I don't have no personal knowledge of esoteric subjects, but it don't mean I don't know people who might know. I got a friend, name of Abner Oakbucket, he visits sometimes and we jaw and drink til we get tired. I ain't visited him in a bit, so he's due to be blessed by my presence, as the overhill folk say. He'll sure be keen to hear all about you and your plight. He's real into strange stuff. He's got more books than my eyes can eat up, and a lab in his basement full of gadgets I don't even pretend to understand. We'll go see him in the morning."
Perky smiled. It felt like her first real smile in a long time. She leaped up and threw herself on Billy Bob, giving him a tight hug. "Thank you! Thank you!"
Billy Bob looked a little embarrassed. "Heh, well there, always glad to help. Now let's get some sleep. It's quite a walk to Abner's. Don't know about you, but I can't do any serious walking unless I've had my beauty sleep. There are also some...uh...obstacles in the way."
"That's OK Mr. Swamp Abompbompbomp. I can't wait! This will be fun!" Perky beamed.
"Just call me Billy Bob. Nighty night." He turned out the light and turned in. Tomorrow was another day.
...to be continued.
No comments:
Post a Comment